Tiada Seperti-Mu
This song has been playing on my iTunes for the past few days..really meaningful and really encouraging..just thought I’d share it..I’m alive and well by the way, just in case you’re wondering..=)
Anug’rahMu kepadaku, tak pernah berubah
PerbuatanMu terlukiskan dalam hatiku
Tercengangku dibuatMu, kagum padaMu
Tak ada hal di hidupku terluput dariMu
Kau indah, Kau mulia, tiada sepertiMu
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkan Mu
Kau terawal dan terakhir
Pencipta sgalanya
Sluruh bintang pun bersinar oleh ucapanMu
Engkau pun mengasihiku, penulis hidupku
Tak henti segenap nafasku menyembahMu slalu
Kupuji, Ku sembah, tiada sepertiMu
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkanMu
Sgala puji, sgala hormat, segnap hatiku menyembahMu
Terimalah segnap hidupku sbagai persembahan yang hidup
Bukan kehendakku, namun kehendakMu
Hidupku bagiMu
Kau indah, Kau mulia,
kuingin hidupku menyenangkan Mu
-GMB-
This is me.
Lately, I haven’t been the Eunice that everyone knows..maybe it’s because of the things that I’m going through, or the change of lifestyle that’s been going on or maybe, it’s because I’ve finally got it..how to be more serious..I keep saying that I want to but I’ve never really succeeded..maybe now I have..finally.
I don’t know. We’ll see how it goes, I’ll give it some more time. Just thought I should share that, and take a short 15mins off my studying also. =)
Here we come, here we go
It’s been a long while since I’ve blogged..doesn’t mean that I have nothing happening or nothing to say..just too many things happening and no time to say..Well, just thought I should let u all know that I’m well and doing fine..going through a lot lately but am learning how to manage myself, others, expectations, time, and all that jazz….
Things off my mind that I can remember and are significant enough to be on this post.
1) Had a good lunch with Elder Shirley recently..talked about alot of things that have been on my mind and my heart..some of which I’ve been keeping to myself for the longest while..It did feel really good getting it off my chest and just clearing some things up..felt really encouraged to continue on with this “fight” and am looking forward to an amazing future..
2) Elder Shirley’s huddle girls had a meet up/catch up/hang out/secret mission outing the other night..I haven’t laughed so hard in such a long time, had SO much fun..we should do it again yea? hehe…Thanks so much for that night out..was super stress-free and for that few hours there, I got to get my mind off the things that have been on my mind..so proud and blessed to part of this awesome family! =)
3) Yesterday, got the chance to go to Taylor’s CF to share about CampusRevo..that was cool..Could be a once in a lifetime opportunity, am glad I went..and IMU HOMEs was awesome too last night..I thoroughly enjoyed myself..laughed so much and everyone did SO well!! so proud of you all!! really believing that IMU Homes will explode soon! *smiles*
4) got another picture of my nephew-to-be from my brother yesterday. This time can see his head, nose and he’s quite big already..looks more like a human than a tadpole..=P but it’s all the more personal when I’m learning about the development and all, and I get updates about one that’s going on..It’s so amazing..I don’t know how to explain this feeling..everytime I think about this, I want to do better..for them. The picture is my phone’s wallpaper now, ask me to show you if you wanna see..
I think that’s all..summarized version of my week..will update again soon. I promise =)
“I don’t want to think that it could happen when it wouldn’t..so here’s another one of my “form-less” dream, please hover over it.”
Misses.
I still find it difficult to hold back the tears when they talked about you just now at dinner. I’m supposed to let it go, to go on with life, but I guess it’s not that easy to forget someone who’s so close to the heart. They were talking about how you showed your love in the weirdest ways ever but the message still got through and we know that you loved us. Like the times when you packed my favourite green longans in a big box all the way from Kapit just because you know I love them, or times when you secretly brought durians on the plane just because you know it’s the best kind and you want us to have it. I don’t know when I’ll ever get to eat the green longans again but I know that if I ever do, I’ll think about you every single time.
How’s the view up there? Must be pretty cool eh? I wished you get to be at Abel’s wedding, I know you would have loved to..and I know I promised you some things, I’ll keep the promise. Basically, I just wanted you to know that…
I MISS YOU.
Revelation.
There are only some things in life that can make you tear or feel something deep down inside, and I know I experienced one of those things for me today..It could be totally ridiculous to some, nonsense to others but it meant so much to me..
In between classes today, we had an opportunity to watch the video that the Laos team made about their trip..was the trip that I was supposed to go on but couldn’t in the end due to some technical difficulties..I was super sad when I didn’t get to go but that’s another story altogether..They showed videos and pictures of what they did and stuff and some people were complaining that it was taking too long..but while I watched, I couldn’t help but hold back my tears..if it weren’t for the people around me who were like “ehh..why the video so long wan..?” I think I would’ve cried..It wasn’t because I was there during the trip and I felt like I miss the place and was emo..I don’t really know why but my heart just went out to the people there..
If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I get really upset when I hear about people spending money on useless things and wasting money like no one’s business..it’s not because I judge them or anything but I know that there are people out there who can’t even afford to buy proper clothes, don’t even have a place to stay and there are kids out there who eat plain flour and think that it’s the nicest thing in the world (this one’s closer to home, I saw that at our very own OA trip) so don’t talk about social status and all..we’re all under one BIG family, living in one BIG home called Earth. Why can’t we do our part to make it a better place?
I’ve always liked going for mission trips and stuff but I think today, I just knew it..like so super clearly..that this would be something I wanna do in the future..I want to help these people, I want them to live better lives, I want to do my part in making this world a better place..I don’t know what, where and how exactly yet but I know that I want to.
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.”
This is my dream. Without form, void and dark. Please hover over it, Lord.
Here’s the 2nd picture of my nephew-to-be..He’s now 11cm big..
would love to bring to him on some mission trips next time..would be quite cool eh? =)
The bigger picture.
Have you ever had days where you just feel like everything you do seem worthless, like no matter how much you do, it’s not good enough to meet expectations, to get what you want, to be the best..No matter what, you’re just that little bit off the mark..basically, you’re just discouraged and you wanna give up..I just had one of those few days back..
Was studying for my summative exams on that fateful day when I suddenly realise that I can’t finish every single lecture, I can’t even try..It’s just so impossible and at that moment, I felt like giving up..there are other things that I’ve yet to settle, so many pending “assignments” and I just feel like leaving everything behind and escape somewhere..and then, I received something..
No, it’s not mine.
Say hello to my nephew/niece to be..To make the post easier, I’ll pretend it’s a boy ok? and if it happens to be a girl, I’ll come back and change..=) Words can’t express the joy I felt when I saw this picture..I don’t know how to explain, but it somehow came at just the right time and it really encouraged me in a way that I’ve never felt before..In a somehow matured and adult way..It got me thinking about the baby, how he’s gonna be like, who is he gonna look like and stuff..and then it led to..What kind of auntie will I be to him? What kind of legacy will I be leaving for him? What are we, as people of this generation, doing to help the next generation?
And that really stirred up this spirit of just wanting to be the best that I can ever be..so that one day when he’s going through what I’m going through now, I can tell him that he’ll make it, without being a total hypocrite..that maybe one day, just maybe, he’ll say “when I grow up, I wanna be just like you..” it brought me to a place where I could see a piece of the bigger picture, of why we’re doing the things we’re doing now..it’s for them..we’re running this race now, charting new paths, going through different challenges so that in the future they can follow us, run along with us and hopefully someday, run ahead of us and do even greater things..and because of that, I won’t give up..I will hold on to this baton, and I will pass it on..
“Hey you, don’t even know what your name’s gonna be yet but thanks. Even though you’re only 7.73cm big right now, you’ve already made a difference in my life..Just like how your dad has always been there for me at just the right time, you’ve done that for me this time..Wow, you’re already following in his footsteps..haha..I can’t wait till you come into this world although I think it’ll be safer in there but I know you’re gonna grow up to be a great person..I hope you’ll read this one day when you feel discouraged and know that you’re awesome, even since u were only 7.73cm..I hope that I’ll be cool and you’ll like me, and I’m sure you’ll love our family cos I’d never trade it for any other family in the world..Be safe, and I’ll see you soon! =D Much love, Eunice.”
When It Rains…
it pours…cats, dogs, elephants, whales…whatever. Everything seem to just go the other way..And if you could tell by now, yeah, I just had one of the suckiest day ever. I won’t go into exact details but I decided to “talk” to my problems as if they’re actual human beings..Give them a piece of my mind..you might think I’m crazy but I’m not..maybe, just maybe I’ll feel better after this..
1) you’re really killing me…throwing everything at me all at once..I really feel like I’m drowning, I can’t take any of this anymore.. Please stop before someone actually dies or something…There’s something called time management and I hope that you’ll pick that up and there’s also something called mercy..wiki that before trying, might be a little too hard for you..I’m sorry for being mean, I just strongly dislike you..
2) I’m sorry things went that way..I don’t take it seriously but maybe sometimes, some things just mean more than it should..So I’m just gonna let it slide..Maybe it doesn’t even bother you or it wasn’t even an “issue”, and I don’t think it should be..so if that’s the case, awesome..Let’s just move on with life..
3) you’re the devil in my life…you think you’re super smart and super awesome in every way but guess what? you’re NOT. you can’t even count for goodness sake, and you talk to us as if we’re worthless piece of crap that you HAD to “impart” to? puh-lez… I know you know alot, and you’re far more experienced but there’s one important thing that you might lack..A HEART. What’s the use of scolding and shouting when you can just tell it nicely? What’s with the calling of names? How would you feel if someone called you hopelessly hopeless, stupid, liar, idiot?? Start treating people the way you want them to treat you can or not? always telling people about respect and humility..but in reality, there are 4 fingers pointing back at yourself..Learn something from Michael Jackson ok? He’s starting with the man in the mirror, and I suggest that you do that too..
Thanks to all of those contributors, today was not a good day for me..And you know in life, there’s always this one person that you can always turn to, go to, no matter what in the world happened? someone you’re just so comfortable with that you won’t even bother if that person wants to hear you out or not, you’ll just go ahead anyways? I call these people “bins”..not that they take crap or whatever but they’re just there whenever you need them and you’ll throw everything at them and it’s fine..everyone needs a bin..and I just found out today, that I don’t really have one..well, I used to have one but things change and people change so yeah, now I don’t..but it’s alright, my blog’s here all the time..maybe this is my new bin? hmmm….
