Archive for August, 2009

Have you ever had days where you just feel like everything you do seem worthless, like no matter how much you do, it’s not good enough to meet expectations, to get what you want, to be the best..No matter what, you’re just that little bit off the mark..basically, you’re just discouraged and you wanna give up..I just had one of those few days back..

Was studying for my summative exams on that fateful day when I suddenly realise that I can’t finish every single lecture, I can’t even try..It’s just so impossible and at that moment, I felt like giving up..there are other things that I’ve yet to settle, so many pending “assignments” and I just feel like leaving everything behind and escape somewhere..and then, I received something..

UltrasoundNo, it’s not mine.

Say hello to my nephew/niece to be..To make the post easier, I’ll pretend it’s a boy ok? and if it happens to be a girl, I’ll come back and change..=) Words can’t express the joy I felt when I saw this picture..I don’t know how to explain, but it somehow came at just the right time and it really encouraged me in a way that I’ve never felt before..In a somehow matured and adult way..It got me thinking about the baby, how he’s gonna be like, who is he gonna look like and stuff..and then it led to..What kind of auntie will I be to him? What kind of legacy will I be leaving for him? What are we, as people of this generation, doing to help the next generation?

And that really stirred up this spirit of just wanting to be the best that I can ever be..so that one day when he’s going through what I’m going through now, I can tell him that he’ll make it, without being a total hypocrite..that maybe one day, just maybe, he’ll say “when I grow up, I wanna be just like you..” it brought me to a place where I could see a piece of the bigger picture, of why we’re doing the things we’re doing now..it’s for them..we’re running this race now, charting new paths, going through different challenges so that in the future they can follow us, run along with us and hopefully someday, run ahead of us and do even greater things..and because of that, I won’t give up..I will hold on to this baton, and I will pass it on..

“Hey you, don’t even know what your name’s gonna be yet but thanks. Even though you’re only 7.73cm big right now, you’ve already made a difference in my life..Just like how your dad has always been there for me at just the right time, you’ve done that for me this time..Wow, you’re already following in his footsteps..haha..I can’t wait till you come into this world although I think it’ll be safer in there but I know you’re gonna grow up to be a great person..I hope you’ll read this one day when you feel discouraged and know that you’re awesome, even since u were only 7.73cm..I hope that I’ll be cool and you’ll like me, and I’m sure you’ll love our family cos I’d never trade it for any other family in the world..Be safe, and I’ll see you soon! =D  Much love, Eunice.”

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When It Rains…

Posted: August 20, 2009 in Of emo-ness, Of Life
Tags: , ,

it pours…cats, dogs, elephants, whales…whatever. Everything seem to just go the other way..And if you could tell by now, yeah, I just had one of the suckiest day ever. I won’t go into exact details but I decided to “talk” to my problems as if they’re actual human beings..Give them a piece of my mind..you might think I’m crazy but I’m not..maybe, just maybe I’ll feel better after this..

1) you’re really killing me…throwing everything at me all at once..I really feel like I’m drowning, I can’t take any of this anymore.. Please stop before someone actually dies or something…There’s something called time management and I hope that you’ll pick that up and there’s also something called mercy..wiki that before trying, might be a little too hard for you..I’m sorry for being mean, I just strongly dislike you..

2) I’m sorry things went that way..I don’t take it seriously but maybe sometimes, some things just mean more than it should..So I’m just gonna let it slide..Maybe it doesn’t even bother you or it wasn’t even an “issue”, and I don’t think it should be..so if that’s the case, awesome..Let’s just move on with life..

3) you’re the devil in my life…you think you’re super smart and super awesome in every way but guess what? you’re NOT. you can’t even count for goodness sake, and you talk to us as if we’re worthless piece of crap that you HAD to “impart” to? puh-lez… I know you know alot, and you’re far more experienced but there’s one important thing that you might lack..A HEART. What’s the use of scolding and shouting when you can just tell it nicely? What’s with the calling of names? How would you feel if someone called you hopelessly hopeless, stupid, liar, idiot?? Start treating people the way you want them to treat you can or not? always telling people about respect and humility..but in reality, there are 4 fingers pointing back at yourself..Learn something from Michael Jackson ok? He’s starting with the man in the mirror, and I suggest that you do that too..

Thanks to all of those contributors, today was not a good day for me..And you know in life, there’s always this one person that you can always turn to, go to, no matter what in the world happened? someone you’re just so comfortable with that you won’t even bother if that person wants to hear you out or not, you’ll just go ahead anyways? I call these people “bins”..not that they take crap or whatever but they’re just there whenever you need them and you’ll throw everything at them and it’s fine..everyone needs a bin..and I just found out today, that I don’t really have one..well, I used to have one but things change and people change so yeah, now I don’t..but it’s alright, my blog’s here all the time..maybe this is my new bin? hmmm….

I Like.

Posted: August 12, 2009 in Of Life, Of New Things
Tags: , ,

Just now while I was walking back from uni, I suddenly remembered something my friend wrote on his blog quite some time back about how people always know what they don’t like and when you ask them what they do like, they don’t really know..such negativity..so I thought, maybe I should start being positive..In my quest to become a better me, I shall be more positive..So I decided that from today onwards, I’ll try to purposely notice things that I DO like, and could thank God for..there are many, but we just don’t take time to think about it..instead we spend maybe 85% of our brain capacity thinking about things that we don’t and we complain..so, why not be more positive, right?

Really random thought but I’m gonna do it. I think it’ll make me a happier person. =)

yeah, we’ve got no time..My most over-used phrase since sem 3 started is “got no time to poop also, where got time to (insert whatever activity that’s fun)?” it’s so true..we’ve really got no time…so much to study, so much to memorise and exam’s coming in less than a month’s time..sigh~ Here we go again…just that this time round, it’s much tougher…

recently, I’ve been on a mission..Someone told me that I should always compare myself to me..and try to beat myself and be better than me…That’s what I’ve been doing, letting myself get stretched beyond belief, not backing down when I know I can opt to, not giving up when I feel it’s so much easier that way..just believing that even through this process of molding and shaping, that at the end of the day, Eunice Pui would be a better person, inside out. I just wanna be a better me.

So many things happening this few weeks, some more significant than others but I’ve learnt so much, experienced so much, felt so much..There were times when I felt super happy, other times when I felt relaxed, free, like everything that’s bothering me just evaporated, there were also nights where I just can’t sleep, thinking about everything and my mind’s on overdrive..and not too long ago, I felt something new..I remember how I used to tell God “break my heart for what breaks Yours”..yeah, I felt it..hard..the tears that I held back, the anger right after, the disappointment and loneliness I felt, then the acceptance after that..knowing that it’s your decision at the end of the day and I can’t do anything to change it..Gave me a whole new meaning to the word “friends” actually..SO many things, SO MANY….

well anyways, I finally decided to spend some time blogging so I did..not much but good enough..haha! I think I wanna go watch The Proposal alone..I think I will..yes, I will..hehe..good night everyone!