Posts Tagged ‘Hopes’

Like It Or Not

Posted: May 30, 2009 in Of Life, Of New Things
Tags: , , ,

Year 2009, has been a very very challenging year for me thus far…I’ve been hit several times by huge “waves” and I’m glad to say that I’m still alive and well..I’m still going through some really crazy stuff but I know I’ll come out of this stronger than before and I really believe that there are things that I have to learn through all this..

So many things that I have to give up, to reflect and to work on..It’s been really really tiring..many times I feel like just giving up, throw in the towel but then again, I wouldn’t wanna go through life knowing that I didn’t try my best..So I will fight on, I’ll live my life to the fullest, try my best to do my best and never forget about my calling..I’ll never give up on my faith and beliefs no matter what, doesn’t matter how I’ve been hurt or what life has to throw on me, I won’t ever, ever give up..that’s a promise.

Just in case you’re blur and have no idea what I’m talking about…it’s alright.. I’m just going through a really rough patch in my life, haven’t gotten out of it yet but I know I will..soon. I’ve never experienced this before so it’s something new and I have to learn how to handle it on my own since my family not here but then I’m super grateful and blessed with really awesome leaders and friends who’s been encouraging me and making sure that I don’t sink into the worms-eating stage, keeping me sane and helping me to bounce back up again..thanks so much, I owe you guys big time..=) and you, who’s always saving me right on time and probably don’t even know it, thanks.

So yeah, just a short update..Probaby won’t update again until July..June will officially be my blog-sabbath month..yay! =P

That was home.

Posted: March 22, 2009 in Of Life
Tags: , , , ,

Just got back from a super AWESOME trip to KK for Revolution..about 700 plus young people packed up CCC and we had an awesome time! check this out if you don’t know what i’m talking about..Right now, feeling really tired (was a long long weekend but was worth it), happy (that Revo KK went so well and so many ppl were touched and blessed), abit emo (cause I really miss home)..just a whole load of emotions all mixed together..I think I should just go to sleep then maybe i’ll be better tomorrow..I don’t know why I always feel like this when I come back to KL from’s not like it’s my first time here or anything..sigh~

So yeah…exams are coming up real soon..really feeling very stressed and stretched..Gotta focus already this coming few weeks..

Need. To. Do. Well.

U-turn is on as well..Will be praying and believing for a miracle..I really need one. REALLY.


Posted: February 11, 2009 in Of Life
Tags: , , , ,


How are you doing up in heaven? I’m sure you’re really happy yea? I hope you could read this up might need some translation but I’m sure you can find someone who’s able to help you..We really miss you back here, but we’re glad that you’re in a better place now..Please send my regards to gung gung and po po if you see them ok? 

Can’t believe it was just less than a week since I saw you then you left us already..when I got the news, I was thinking to myself, what if I’ve stayed longer? since Monday was a holiday, why did I go back so early? I could have spent more time with you..I know I wouldn’t be of any help but I did enjoy sitting with you, helping you move your legs and just being there..You’re the first person that I’m close to who’s left..I guess it was just something new for me and I didn’t really know how to handle it..I prayed that night and asked God if you’re with Him and if you were happy..I felt peace after that..I guess I’m not really sad that you left cause you have lived 95 years and I don’t want to see you suffer any longer with your condition then, but I’m just really heavy hearted to let you go..I didn’t wanna cry but I couldn’t help it..

You’ve been an awesome grandfather to me and I really want to thank you for that..I’ve learnt so many things from you, like’ve never been stingy with the things you had..One thing that I remember is that you’re always giving out money, sweets, oranges, asking people to go eat..No one will ever go hungry when they’re with you..And I know you loved me a lot, thinking about how you learnt how to speak one phrase of english just to talk to me always bring tears to my eyes..I will always remember “Tomorrow eat mee?” and I still remember that I’d always tell you that I’ll treat you next time and you’ll always say “haiyo..when you start working, don’t know if Ngiu is still here..” and I always said “yes, you will..” but now you’re gone, and I still didn’t get to belanja you..that was the one thing that kept playing in my mind..i know it might sound silly but I really wanted to hold on to that thought of you still being around and me bringing you for noodles..

I know you might probably be worried about ngie ma..we are too..but I know that she’ll be fine..Both of you have raised up really great children and I’m sure that they will look after ngie don’t worry ok? I promise to always keep an eye out for her as well..Many of them might have already told you, but I’m here to give you my word..I’m studying to become a doctor now and I know you’re already very proud of me..I promise to work hard, get really good grades and be the best that I can be..I won’t let you down..And when I start earning money, I will bless others, pay for meals, give to the needy..just like you did..

I’m very glad that you’re my ngiu..I’m really scared that one day I’ll start to forget how you looked like but you will always be in my heart no matter what..It still saddens me that I didn’t get to be there when you left but I know I’ve got to move on..that’s what you would want for all of us yea? I guess that’s it..just wanted you to know that I really miss you, I’ll see you again one day, and I love you.

Your grand-daughter,


Posted: January 7, 2009 in Of emo-ness, Of Life, Of Personal
Tags: , , ,

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu

Heard this song on the radio today, went home and youtubed it…and u know wat? I love it!! Super nice song la...Sempurna by Andra & The Back Bone..

[On the other hand]

I don’t wanna be like this but I can’t help but feel this way, it messes me up and it wouldn’t go away…no matter how hard I beg, plead for it to be gone, it’s still there…Questions, assumptions that came from nowhere, fills my head like there’s no tomorrow…it’s just life maybe? but i don’t want my life to be this way..why can’t things be simpler? why must everything be so complicated? Boy, am I glad that I’ll be away for 3 least I’ll get some time to clear my mind, get things right, get my heart fixed..I’ll be a better me when I get back..i hope.

It’s gonne be You and me time again…*goes into closet*


Posted: January 4, 2009 in Of Life, Of New Things
Tags: , , , , ,


It’s already the 3rd day of the new year, and honestly, I personally think that it hasn’t hit me yet that it’s the new year.. I can remember to write 09 behind dates in journals or notes, I know that I’m gonna be older this year, I know that I’m on holiday… maybe that’s why…The holidays…it messes up your mind…*eye twitch*

BUT! I’m having fun…=P Just got back from a 2 days trip to Cameron Highlands with a bunch of crazy awesome people..and was the greatest day of our lives!! haha..the whole trip was filled with eating, taking pictures, playing games, laughing..seriously, I’ve never laughed SO hard before…everyone was rolling on the floor in tears, stomach cramps..was super funny man..Thunder!! LOL so yeah, I reckon I had an awesome start to my year..=)

Now for my new year’s list of things to achieve…No new year’s resolutions for me, they never happen..haha..

1) Be a better person. Love my family, friends, not-so-friend-friends, more. Treat them like how I would want them to treat me.

2) Grow deeper in my walk. I think I’ve grown quite abit in 2008 and I’d want that to continue, don’t wanna stay put or go backwards but to move forward, to discover more things, to love God more each day, to understand what He has in stored for my life, to be able to be an encouragement to people around me, to love and care for the people that has entered my life one way or another, to be an example like it’s said in 1 Tim 4:12, I just wanna be more than what I already am..

3) Work harder in uni. I must admit that since my course started, I haven’t really been the “medical student” that I should be. Too playful for my own good, didn’t have a good balance between studies and fun. So this year, I want to be more consistent in my studies, get better grades, get my scholarship, work hard and play hard at the same time.

There should be more but the ones I’ve listed down are the more important ones.. I’ve got more written down but I think i’ll keep them to myself =P maybe next year if I’ve achieved them, I’ll tell you about’s that? haha..really looking forward to a fully awesome 2009 ahead!! *big smile*

I’ll add some pictures we took during Christmas like i promised..Go see the rest on facebook..haha




Til Kingdom Come

Posted: November 15, 2008 in Of Life
Tags: , ,

Have been kinda addicted to this song..

Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I’ve never felt this way before.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don’t know which way I’m going,
I don’t know which way I’ve come.

Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I’ve waited all these years.

For you, I’d wait ’til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you’ll come, and set me free,
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.

Til Kingdom Come – Coldplay