Posts Tagged ‘Life’

The end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism.
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
We know all these so well, but when it hits you, everything fails, nothing makes sense.
“it’s okay” is not okay, all you can and want to do is get rid of the pain, no matter what it takes.
Crying, shouting, loud music, even quietness, just don’t work.

The period of existence, activity, or effectiveness of something.
Waking up in the morning, still breathing, hearing your own heart beat in the silence, signs of life.
What are we doing with “life”?
Holding grudges, being emo, not forgiving, complaining..basically, wasting.

I’ve learnt so much about life through death. you’ve taught me so much.
To live, to love, to cherish..
To be sincere, to be all that I can be, to make every moment count.

I may not know you personally, but through the stories, pictures, videos, I really wished I did.
Seeing how you lived your life, made me wanna live mine better.
Hearing about everything that you’ve done, made me think about how much more you could have done.
Looking at all the lives you’ve impacted, made me wonder how many people I have touched.
Being at your memorial with so many people, I wonder how many people would be at mine.

“Hey Joash, just wanna let you know that I’m really blessed by your life and even though you’re gone now, you’ll forever be in each and every one of our hearts. I don’t know how long more I have to live, but you’ve definitely made me wanna live better. Thanks for that. I really hope that I’ll meet you one day in Heaven.”

Encouraged. Inspired.
By someone I’ve met probably only once.

“When you get a right perspective on death, you’d get a right perspective on life.”

In loving memory of Joash Wee.

What comes first?

Posted: April 4, 2010 in Of Life, Things From My Heart
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Lately, with so many things going on, I’ve been feeling like I’m a “part-time-student”..I’m trying to revise and catch up with my studies and all but it hasn’t been easy..I can’t really stop doing the other things also cos those are the things that I want to do and am passionate yeah, am definitely not in a very comfortable position..

but today, I sorta caught a revelation when I was in IS true that I’m a part-time student..and you know why? because I’m a full-time disciple..everything that we do, say, think, etc. should be reflecting what we’re called to preach about ie Jesus! So what, if I don’t have the same amount of time to study like all my other classmates do? should I be fearful? No! because I believe and trust that if I put God first, He will look after me because He loves me and wants the best for me..He’s not putting me through all this to torture me, but to let me know that He’s made me for more than just “normal”, that I really CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I know that because I know Him.

So no matter what problems I have, in my studies, finances, relationships, I know that it’ll all be alright..All I gotta do is surrender and trust, listen and obey, and He’ll settle it for me..No one else can give me that assurance, except Him. No one else can make me feel safe, except Him. No one else can know what I really feel, except Him. And so, to no one else will I run to, except Him. I’ve come to realize and experience a whole new meaning of His love for me..just so amazingly awesome. =)

Just me and You, that’s enough for me.

On the first day of 2010…

I saw the first sunrise of the year. A bunch of us went up Broga Hill and it was awesome! Not a very challenging climb except that there were alot of people who were there with the same intention so we were stuck in human jam..Was the first to reach the first peak (3 peaks in total), and was super glad that I got there on time to catch the sun rise (I cheated a little on some parts, I ran up =P)..It meant SO much to me..Can’t really express how I felt at that moment but the significance, overwhelmed me a little..just standing there, taking a deep breath while the sun crept up, I was ready…ready to leave things behind, ready to cross over, into something new, into the unknown..but one thing I’m sure and I felt it right there and then, I’m loved.

2010, will be my last year in more year for me to see change, to impact someone’s life, to be different, to make a difference. Am I ready? I don’t know. I want to be. “Prepare me for what lies ahead, everything’s so uncertain but I know You have it all planned out, You know where this is going, help me stay on track.”

2010, I’ll be 21..the beginning of the “best years of my life” so they say..I hope I start well, I hope I can look back at this year and say I’m proud of myself..I’m sure there will be alot of changes,  things added into my life (like responsibilities and stuff la, stop thinking otherwise =P), things subtracted, multiplied and divided. It’s time to grow up, mentally, spiritually and emotionally..and to stop monkey-ing around..time to be more serious! haha.. “Please make me the person You want me to be, this year, help me be better..A better daughter, sister, friend, disciple, leader, classmate, etc. I want Your best for me.”

Just a few pictures I took..nice place..would love to go again soon..Happy New Year everyone..=)

New Year, New Life.

Posted: January 1, 2010 in Of Change, Of Life, Of New Things
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As 2009 came to an end..couldn’t help but feel super relieved..I stood there, watching the fireworks, people and noise all around me, but in my head, in my heart, a thousand things went past and suddenly, it just felt like I could release it’s just a mark in my history, like I could move on..and it felt great.

2009, was a very long and hard year for me…SO many things happened, both good and bad…some I can’t do anything about, some I wish I could undo and some I wish would never ever happen again..Looking back at the year, I’ve experienced so much, I’ve gained, I’ve lost and I’ve learnt so much..maybe one day I’ll look back at this year and be grateful for it but for now, in all honesty, I thought 2009 was one of the toughest year I’ve ever been through..and I’m just so glad it’s over..I’m really praying that 2010 will be much better than 2009..

As for resolutions..don’t think I’ll have any..but there are things that I wanna see in my own life this year..some changes, improvements, additions, subtractions..not convenient to reveal it here but yea, maybe I’ll share when we’re going into 2011..and see if I achieved any of the things..=P really looking forward to a whole new “life”..Welcome, 2010!! I’ve been waiting for you for quite some time now..Am glad you’re here..=)

Posted: December 9, 2009 in Of Life, Of New Things
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Was internet-less the past 4 days cos I was away in Kuala Kubu Bahru Hospital doing my rotations..It’s somewhat like a camp, had to stay there for 4 days and 3 nights, but not really also, don’t know how to many things happened there and I don’t wanna flood twitter or facebook so just blog about it lah..=)

I survived :

4 days…
– without a proper bed, pillow and blanket.
– of cold baths, lots of sweat and no air-cond
– with 6 other awesome people in a room
– of mosquitoes attacking me, even with repellent on
– of minimal studying =(

3 days…
– “working” in the hospital..clerking patients, talking to them and doing physical examinations
– stalking pregnant ladies hoping that there will be a delivery so that we can watch
– stalking A&E for interesting cases
– eating almost every kind of food they had in the town. well, that was fun..let me elaborate..we went to town, and walked around the whole area looking for good stuff and trying out almost everything..we had ice-cream (which was not that great), waffles (so-so), taufu bakar (was ok, sotong was nice), kaya puffs & tau sar piah (yummy!), and some dai chau place with annoying music where we went for 2 nights straight..
– irritating nurse Rita and giving her headaches =P
– seeing Dr Lim and learning from her..”Luck, and Enthusiasm” *with both fist up in the air* her famous phase.

There was/were:
– 2 mat rempits who got into a very bad accident and gave us the chance to see awesome suturing..
– 5 patients who let us do physical examinations on them
– 2 patients with really interesting findings
– 1 gecko that scared Dr Lim like mad and woke everyone up this morning
– 1 waterfall outing that was totally random and it wasn’t really a waterfall but we had fun
– 1 long night of chit-chatting, with a lot of interesting “findings” 😉
– many awesome friendships made, memories to keep and experiences to share

All in all, I’d say it was quite a good trip even though I really wanted to go home so badly on the first day..even thought of running away..haha! but yeah, I think it opened up my eyes and mind to a lot of things which will not be shared here and I really do appreciate the time we spent together, just doing what we have to do and having fun at the same time..=)

Now it’s back to life and reality = EOS in 2 and a half weeks time. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Tiada Seperti-Mu

Posted: November 11, 2009 in Of Personal
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This song has been playing on my iTunes for the past few days..really meaningful and really encouraging..just thought I’d share it..I’m alive and well by the way, just in case you’re wondering..=)

Anug’rahMu kepadaku, tak pernah berubah
PerbuatanMu terlukiskan dalam hatiku

Tercengangku dibuatMu, kagum padaMu
Tak ada hal di hidupku terluput dariMu

Kau indah, Kau mulia, tiada sepertiMu
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkan Mu

Kau terawal dan terakhir
Pencipta sgalanya
Sluruh bintang pun bersinar oleh ucapanMu

Engkau pun mengasihiku, penulis hidupku
Tak henti segenap nafasku menyembahMu slalu

Kupuji, Ku sembah, tiada sepertiMu
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkanMu

Sgala puji, sgala hormat, segnap hatiku menyembahMu
Terimalah segnap hidupku sbagai persembahan yang hidup

Bukan kehendakku, namun kehendakMu
Hidupku bagiMu

Kau indah, Kau mulia,
kuingin hidupku menyenangkan Mu



Posted: October 3, 2009 in Of Personal, Things From My Heart
Tags: , ,

I still find it difficult to hold back the tears when they talked about you just now at dinner. I’m supposed to let it go, to go on with life, but I guess it’s not that easy to forget someone who’s so close to the heart. They were talking about how you showed your love in the weirdest ways ever but the message still got through and we know that you loved us. Like the times when you packed my favourite green longans in a big box all the way from Kapit just because you know I love them, or times when you secretly brought durians on the plane just because you know it’s the best kind and you want us to have it. I don’t know when I’ll ever get to eat the green longans again but I know that if I ever do, I’ll think about you every single time.

How’s the view up there? Must be pretty cool eh? I wished you get to be at Abel’s wedding, I know you would have loved to..and I know I promised you some things, I’ll keep the promise. Basically, I just wanted you to know that…