Posts Tagged ‘You’

What comes first?

Posted: April 4, 2010 in Of Life, Things From My Heart
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Lately, with so many things going on, I’ve been feeling like I’m a “part-time-student”..I’m trying to revise and catch up with my studies and all but it hasn’t been easy..I can’t really stop doing the other things also cos those are the things that I want to do and am passionate about..so yeah, am definitely not in a very comfortable position..

but today, I sorta caught a revelation when I was in church..it IS true that I’m a part-time student..and you know why? because I’m a full-time disciple..everything that we do, say, think, etc. should be reflecting what we’re called to preach about ie Jesus! So what, if I don’t have the same amount of time to study like all my other classmates do? should I be fearful? No! because I believe and trust that if I put God first, He will look after me because He loves me and wants the best for me..He’s not putting me through all this to torture me, but to let me know that He’s made me for more than just “normal”, that I really CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I know that because I know Him.

So no matter what problems I have, in my studies, finances, relationships, I know that it’ll all be alright..All I gotta do is surrender and trust, listen and obey, and He’ll settle it for me..No one else can give me that assurance, except Him. No one else can make me feel safe, except Him. No one else can know what I really feel, except Him. And so, to no one else will I run to, except Him. I’ve come to realize and experience a whole new meaning of His love for me..just so amazingly awesome. =)

Just me and You, that’s enough for me.


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Tiada Seperti-Mu

Posted: November 11, 2009 in Of Personal
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This song has been playing on my iTunes for the past few days..really meaningful and really encouraging..just thought I’d share it..I’m alive and well by the way, just in case you’re wondering..=)

Anug’rahMu kepadaku, tak pernah berubah
PerbuatanMu terlukiskan dalam hatiku

Tercengangku dibuatMu, kagum padaMu
Tak ada hal di hidupku terluput dariMu

Kau indah, Kau mulia, tiada sepertiMu
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkan Mu

Kau terawal dan terakhir
Pencipta sgalanya
Sluruh bintang pun bersinar oleh ucapanMu

Engkau pun mengasihiku, penulis hidupku
Tak henti segenap nafasku menyembahMu slalu

Kupuji, Ku sembah, tiada sepertiMu
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkanMu

Sgala puji, sgala hormat, segnap hatiku menyembahMu
Terimalah segnap hidupku sbagai persembahan yang hidup

Bukan kehendakku, namun kehendakMu
Hidupku bagiMu

Kau indah, Kau mulia,
kuingin hidupku menyenangkan Mu

-GMB-

Like It Or Not

Posted: May 30, 2009 in Of Life, Of New Things
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Year 2009, has been a very very challenging year for me thus far…I’ve been hit several times by huge “waves” and I’m glad to say that I’m still alive and well..I’m still going through some really crazy stuff but I know I’ll come out of this stronger than before and I really believe that there are things that I have to learn through all this..

So many things that I have to give up, to reflect and to work on..It’s been really really tiring..many times I feel like just giving up, throw in the towel but then again, I wouldn’t wanna go through life knowing that I didn’t try my best..So I will fight on, I’ll live my life to the fullest, try my best to do my best and never forget about my calling..I’ll never give up on my faith and beliefs no matter what, doesn’t matter how I’ve been hurt or what life has to throw on me, I won’t ever, ever give up..that’s a promise.

Just in case you’re blur and have no idea what I’m talking about…it’s alright.. I’m just going through a really rough patch in my life, haven’t gotten out of it yet but I know I will..soon. I’ve never experienced this before so it’s something new and I have to learn how to handle it on my own since my family not here but then I’m super grateful and blessed with really awesome leaders and friends who’s been encouraging me and making sure that I don’t sink into the worms-eating stage, keeping me sane and helping me to bounce back up again..thanks so much, I owe you guys big time..=) and you, who’s always saving me right on time and probably don’t even know it, thanks.

So yeah, just a short update..Probaby won’t update again until July..June will officially be my blog-sabbath month..yay! =P

Found Myself

Posted: May 4, 2009 in Of Life
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I know I’m supposed to be studying but I couldn’t resist not blogging about my day.. I’ll have a short self-proclaimed break in between the endocrine system and reproductive system to quickly write about what happened..hehe..=P

Went to Skyline this morning and Pr Philip preached an awesome message about the cross and the 8 different views..Gave me a whole new meaning to the phrase “take up your cross and follow me”..and it ties in so perfectly with what I’ve been told last week..I really think it’s divine appointment that I was here today to hear that..=) Got lotsa encouragements and good words from some of the pastors and leaders in church as well..it’s good to be back..

After church we went downstairs for lunch and u know what that means…Five Sails! woohoo! Great place to eat but u know what? really made me miss Frances and Nadia alot..we used to always go there together..have our own “teens” table (not the kids table) where we’ll talk about our week, the guys we liked, gossip bout other ppl (haha..) and all those kinda fun stuff..then we’ll go to Frances’ place to chill before going to the beach and we’ll go crazy in the car or at the house (Sot Squad!!) man, really really miss those times la..don’t know if any of you both are gonna read this but just so you know, I really miss hanging out with the both of you..catch up soon? =)

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Look at that…Nice hot sun

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That’s where we ate..right next to the pool..so if u don’t like someone on your table,
just throw them into the pool..haha..kidding kidding…

After that, went home to study for awhile and around evening time, I went to the beach..by myself.. hehe, bought some keropok lekor and sugar cane juice and went for a nice long walk..Was a good time chilling, listening to the waves crashing, watching kids playing in the water and all that..best part is that I got to let my mind relax for awhile and had a nice long chat with the Big Guy up there..told Him my frustrations, my desires, some of the things that has been bothering me, asked Him all kinds of questions and stuff..it was a good time..had so much fun chilling with my best friend =)

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The sunset today..not the best I’ve seen but still..
It’s the sunset..haha

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The waves..

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All in all, I had a great day..Going back to KL tomorrow and the Crazy Week before exams starts…will be sleeping late, trying to not commit suicide, having caffeine overdose, and all that jazz..We can do this!! EOS, bring it on…

I found myself today..I felt the joy, the peace..I came to a place where I’m able to say, no matter what happens, I’ll still follow Him, serve Him and love Him..and I know that it’s all according to the plans He has for me..I felt safe, I know that He’s with me and I found a home for this heart..Thanks for an awesome day, Dad.

I Need You

Posted: March 12, 2009 in Of Life, Of Personal
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SO little time, SO much to do..

1) got AIR topic to finish by end of this month.
2) Summative 2 is coming up in April
3) EOS in May (Major exam..=S)
4) Revo is in about a week’s time
5) CPR Practical Exam on the 28th

I really don’t know how I can do this without You. There’s still so much more actually, but these few are the major ones.. Have been feeling very quite stressed out lately, feel like I can’t catch up with my studies, worried bout how I’ll do in my end of semester exam, and I’ve got so many more other things to handle, to look after and stuff..it gets scary at times and I feel like just giving up..sometimes I wake up in the morning, having no motivation what so ever cause it feels like the day ahead is so super heavy and I’ll somehow drown, crash or burn..but I find strength not from the things I see or myself, but in the One that’s greater than anything or anyone I’ll ever know..In Him, I find my courage to stand, to face my future and to believe.

I know that some people might say that how I’m living right now is crazy and probably stupid but then I can’t imagine myself without all these..Life would be SO boring eh? I can’t say that it’s easy for me..it’s really not..but I’m determined to pull through, praying for a miracle to happen, and waiting for my testimony..Heard from someone recently that “God puts us through tests so that He can give us testimonies” so here we go!

Holy Spirit, teach me how to…

[Away]

Posted: January 8, 2009 in Of Life, Of Personal
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Will be going off to Cameron Highlands again tomorrow..yeah, tell me about it…2 times in 2 weeks..crazy right?! haha..well, this time it’s not for holidays, it’s for OA..our mission trip. Really excited about going again..since it’s my 2nd time going, kinda know what to expect already but still, who knows la yea? Anything could happen, and I’m really expecting great things..Hope that we can go visit the other kampung as well..we’ll see how it goes..*fingers crossed* please keep us in prayers as we make our way in..much appreciated! =)

Right after that, I’ll be heading back to KK straight  and then to Kuching for CNY so I won’t be around in KL for like 3 weeks..gosh, im gonna feel so disconnected..=S oh well, shouldn’t think so far ahead yet..gotta focus on OA 1st…

Escaping? Hiding?
Call it whatever you like.
I want to get back there again,
to where it was just the two of us.
Nothing else mattered,
just You alone. 
Take me there again,
please God,
do You hear my heart calling? 

Perfect

Posted: January 7, 2009 in Of emo-ness, Of Life, Of Personal
Tags: , , ,

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna…

Heard this song on the radio today, went home and youtubed it…and u know wat? I love it!! Super nice song la...Sempurna by Andra & The Back Bone..

[On the other hand]

I don’t wanna be like this but I can’t help but feel this way, it messes me up and it wouldn’t go away…no matter how hard I beg, plead for it to be gone, it’s still there…Questions, assumptions that came from nowhere, fills my head like there’s no tomorrow…it’s just life maybe? but i don’t want my life to be this way..why can’t things be simpler? why must everything be so complicated? Boy, am I glad that I’ll be away for 3 weeks..at least I’ll get some time to clear my mind, get things right, get my heart fixed..I’ll be a better me when I get back..i hope.

It’s gonne be You and me time again…*goes into closet*